I’m glad to be back at college, and there are so many annoying things I have to deal with it home, but there are also so many annoying things to deal with here. I mean just ridiculous, this-is-why-I-can’t-stand-people kind of things. So let me tell you about my wonderful living arrangements.

EDIT: I probably should have explained my living arrangements first-hand. I am in a “suite” where I have a roommate (who is wonderful and keeps me sane) and then we share a bathroom with two other girls, called our suitemates. They are, uhm, well, you’ll see, haha.

My suitemates eat toilet paper.
Okay not really, but they consume mass amounts of toilet paper in really small amounts of time. In two weeks, we used thirteen rolls for four people. Which is ridiculous! And which I wouldn’t mind so much except that toilet paper costs money, which means I have to spend more money because they don’t know how to use moderate amounts. I also don’t have an infinite amount of money, and I’m pretty cheap, so I like to save my money in any way possible. After one week here and seven rolls of toilet paper later, my and Alysha talked to our suitemates and agreed that we would no longer share toilet paper. I can already feel the money being saved!

My suitemates don’t clean. Ever.
At the beginning of the year, we agreed that one of the four of us would clean our shared bathroom every weekend, because if you’re not aware how gross a bathroom gets in one week alone when four girls are sharing it, let me tell you: it gets disgusting. I have never seen either one of them touch the crate of cleaning supplies we have in our bathroom. So I have to clean up their nastiness for them. Which is both disgusting and rather infuriating after the fiftieth time. I like to not live in filth, thank you very much. Also, they still haven’t cleaned their room since the beginning of the school year. There are clumps of hair and dirt on their floor and it makes me want to vomit.

My suitemates talk really loud on Skype.
It’ll be two in the morning, and when I finally convince myself to stop watching TV shows on Hulu and to go to bed, one of my suitemates will get on Skype. EXCEPT FOR SOME REASON SHE THINKS SHE HAS TO SHOUT FOR THEM TO HEAR HER. It reminds me of when my mom got her first cellphone, and she would shout really loud in restaurants so people on the other line could hear her (or so she thought) and we’d all duck our heads in embarrassment as people just stared. You don’t have to shout for people to hear you on your phone, or on Skype.

My suitemates’ perfume smells like death.
Sometimes I’ll come back from class around noon, and one of them will just have showered and left the bathroom door open, so that my room is not only as humid as a tropical rainforest, but it also smells like an old lady’s perfume on a decaying body. In otherwords, like death. It might be two degrees Fahrenheit outside, but the window is being opened, because I can’t breathe.

My neighbors like to blast music at 7:45 AM on Saturdays.
I think most normal college students like to sleep in on Saturdays because it’s generally the only time that we have to actually sleep in and be lazy. Oh, never mind, that’s really just asking too much since our neighbors like to blast annoying pop music as loud as they can. Normally they blast it for about five minutes, then shut it off, as if they’re just trying to annoy people but then realize they’re being douches. But last Saturday, they blasted it for forty-five minutes. I got my iPod to try and drown it out with music that I actually enjoyed, but the bass was reverberating through my bed, so that was rather useless. Next time I’m pounding on their door and telling them to shut up. OR ELSE.

Conservatory students feel obligated to sing. All the time.
The floor that I am on is made up entirely of students in the conservatory, meaning they’re studying music or theater. For some reason unbeknownst to either me or my roommate, since we’re both business majors, we’re stuck on that floor too. It’s kind of annoying, but it’s not too bad since they’re all pretty nice except for one fact: they sing at the top of their lungs, all the time and anytime.

People above us throw each other onto the floor at midnight.
I really don’t know how else to explain it, but they’re doing something up there, maybe dropping bowling balls? Doing some intense workout? But never failing, every night the noise starts up. My precious sleep….

Ghetto people in the courtyard don’t ever shut up.
My room is located right on the courtyard of the dorm and there are plenty of ghetto people who don’t know how to speak in a normal tone of voice, so that, through my window and three stories up, I can hear every word they are shrieking, perfectly clear. I should start entering their conversations and shouting back, bahaha.

It’s friggin’ expensive.
To stay in the dorm for a full year, it comes out to around $10,000, including a meal plan. If I get at least one roommate, and pay around $400 a month for rent, utilities, and food, I can stay in an apartment for $4,800, which is less than half the price I’m paying for this crappy dorm. (Okay, the dorm itself isn’t of a crappy quality – it’s actually fairly nice for a college dorm. It’s mainly just the people I’m surrounded by that drive me insane. Except my roommate – can’t tell you enough how thankful I am for her.)

Moral of my story: I can’t wait to move out next year into my own apartment.